Does Your Figure Shape You?

It’s a new year and some of us are on the road to being a new and better us. With many new New Year Resolutions in high gear there is one that gets recycled every year. The Resolution to drop a few pounds. We often start off motivated and inspired however somewhere we fall off some where along the way. No worries this is not a blog to post nasty pictures of pork and red meet; or to tell you how bad it is. I am here to tell you that it’s OKAY. And to ask a question that many of us may have yet to ask ourselves.

Does Size Really Matter?!

We have heard the term size matters time and time again. However, does that statement hold true in the context of a woman’s figure? Over the years the color of our skin and the shape of our body has caused much controversy. We find ourselves using terms such as skinny, petite, thick, average, fat, and obese; what does it look like to be any of theses sizes? Who signs off on the meaning of too fat or too skinny? Some may argue that words such as thick are used out of context. Many of us obsess over our weight because we want to have the perfect body. Causing ourselves to become sick in the process; not just in terms of anorexia and bulimia. There are some of us who find ourselves over indulging to gain the pounds we feel we lack. Everywhere we turn there are cross-fit gyms, personal trainers, and social media sensations desire to look like. However many of us are merely imitating what we see. Is that wrong? Of course not. The true danger in not knowing is dietary. Often times we work out and return home to poor eating habits. If we are not putting the right fuel in our bodies how well we keep it up will not matter. Health Over Image; many of us live in the gym only to have serious health conditions later on. Does our bodies really make us who we are if we are constantly ill?

Body Shape Does Not Determine Health!! When speaking of health I am talking in  terms of  immunity, physically, spiritually, and mentally. We often confuse physique with health. You can be thick and very healthy; slim and unhealthy. As well as fat and vegan or skinny and have poor eating habits. The true work is in eating to live not living to eat. Meaning it is our responsibility to keep our bodies functioning properly.There is nutrients in all of the foods we should be eating to give us longevity. Our food consumption is the key to a well functioning vessel. Taking the natural approach not only give us a great body but it acts as a preventative regiment to fight off ailments. Yes, meat is not meant for our bodies however it is not a necessity to drop it completely. Asses how your body feels when you eat certain meats and/or too much meat. And make the judgement on what you need to cut out. The truth is too much meat is bad for the body and we will get sick. Taking baby steps is what is needed to get our bodies to full health. When taking the natural route whether vegan, vegetarian, or simply all organic our bodies begin to take its natural form and is able to fight off any ailment it encounters. Exercising is an additive to assist in the toning and longevity of mind, body,and soul. Taking our health into our own hands is an act of self love. We should feel as good as we look and look as look as good as we feel.

Health Secretes They Don’t Tell You? 

Being mindful that when you change your habits of eating along with you personal life your body begins to return to it’s natural state and size. Many of us do not realize how important eating clean is to the body and soul. The foods we consume have the power to charge, cleanse, and strengthen our chakras as well as harm them. Chakras are our energy wheels with in the body. Think of them as pressure point of the soul. Our chakras can be over stimulated, under stimulated, or blocked completely. They are a reflection of our mental and emotional state. Our mentality is what controls the state of our chakras as well as our daily functions and interaction. What we consume and engage in daily has the power drain or energize the chakras. There are food that are soothing to the soul as well as food that can clog the soul. Fruit and vegetable naturally have a direct correlation to the chakra system bring our longevity and vitality to body. The foods we crave, our emotional state, and areas of stress or tension is a reflection of our chakra alignment.  Balancing our intake of proteins ( not necessarily meats), roots, spices, liquids, and more makes way for a healthy diet and chakra system. When are chakra are cleansed and aligned we tend to have more clear perspective on our day to day life as well as smoother days. We are less sluggish and cravings; emotions are stable with less of a tendency for out burst and lash outs.

Know that we have more control and will power over our emotions than we realize. We have healthier food options that give us the ability to be Eco-friendly and health conscious. Health is wealth not the other way around.

Listed below are tips about ways to naturally lose weight as well as vegan habits that may help you pack on pounds.

30 Ways To Loose Weight Naturally

7 Secretes To Be Naturally Thin

5 Vegan Foods That Make You Fat

Image from Phuket Cleanse


Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose 


New Life Old Soul (Why I Took A Break)

Rest set and reflect. Something I needed much time to do.

Have you ever felt as though you were losing yourself? As if you are trying your hardest to hold on to the pieces of yourself that keep you going. Like you’re looking for ways to salvage what your reflection use to looks like. The feeling of losing ones self in some cases may be what triggers depression and anger issues. When you are losing yourself it feels as though you do not have control of your life; like everyone wants a piece of you. Or like everyone is holding on to the old frame of what use to be you. To lose yourself is to become a robot; carrying the same routine day in and day out with little to no capacity for self. We begin to slowly back track reverting to old ways. In some cases we become stagnate because we fill stuck; trapped with no where to turn. Each of us go through a time in our life where we fill we are suppose to chase something. Whether it is money, fancy items, the latest trends, fame, or all of the above. When do we reach a point where we realize this doesn’t make us who we are? How can we treat ourselves to nice things and “quality” living without falling in the materialism trap of what seems to be “normal”?

Each time you start a new chapter you are destined to fight to save yourself once more. As you shift in income you being to run after more money. You want to make sure you keep the steady income maybe even work harder to see little increases here and there. However, this wasn’t my problem. My problem was fighting to not compromise myself for the sake of keeping what was steady, normal, and secure. I felt myself embarking on a new curve of my spiritual journey; one that would test my breaking point. My fight was not with money, materialism, or temptations it was with conformity. We are often asked to remove layers of ourselves to let others in all while keeping emotions dormant. We are asked to over extend ourselves to make others comfortable. Wearing a mask in society is a normal day to day thing. Little do we know we become that mask and slowly our true self is forgotten. All because we no longer have the capacity for self.

*How much do I love myself to carve out as much time for me? That is the question I ask myself.*

As you set boundaries for yourself to protect your peace others become angry. The more comfortable you become with yourself the more uncomfortable you make others. Mask are pulled back and the truth of others will show.

My decision to take a break was a slow and gradual process. It was a must for me to pull back slowly but surely. I felt as though I was losing a grip of my peace and I wanted to asses the issue little by little. I had become very sensitive and vulnerable to the negativity around me. I found myself uneasy and in tears. I was not easily worked up  however irritability and frustration was close to second nature. I gradually became uninspired. Some days I didn’t feel like doing anything. Taking small escapes is what kept me going. Because I felt myself slipping away I would force time in to read and write so that my creativity wouldn’t fad away. However, it felt like every time I found a groove something would happen to lower my frequency. I began to pull away from people, activities, and actions that didn’t align with my values or morals. In this I created space for my meditation and yoga. I carved out a little more time that I had for writing; it wasn’t enough……… My heart craved more, my soul was heavy, and my mind wondered. While at work I found myself day dreaming about what else was out there; drifting to a space where I was doing what I loved to do. I dreamed of being in a space were I was appreciated and valued for being my true authentic self.  I wasn’t in a good head space. I realized there were times I questioned my intuition and my sacred connection. That is when I knew I needed more of a push. It was time for a radical act of self love.

For a while I had been putting into the universe that I wanted to further my knowledge and master my craft. I planned and set up a time line and the opportunity presented itself when I needed it most. Taking the leap of faith I enrolled in Yoga Teacher Training. Everything that I knew was confirmed and life slowly came full circle. It wasn’t until I took a week to disconnect I realized I needed silence. No phone no social media just nature and endless adventure. My soul was happy and I was surrounded by nothing but love in it’s purest form. After connecting with nature and stepping out of my comfort zone I felt it was only right to take that time for self. I carried that with me and realized I needed to extend that period of silence. I wanted to experience the silence in stillness as well; no adventures just stillness with self. I needed time to shift my perspective and focus on the present moment. I had forgotten why I embarked on this journey back to self. Because of this I needed to remember my purpose and honor my journey. Honoring your journey allows us to honor our pace along that journey as well. To honoring my pace I needed to take time away from outside influences. I often felt it was a race instead of a tribe of people making a difference. As I focused my energy on being lighter my time at work became lighter. Once Hurricane Harvey hit I was forced to bring the self care aspect back into my life; something I desperately needed. Being in an environment where the energy and mindset is scattered or weird can drain a person mentally, physically, and spiritually. During the hurricane I had time to up the doses of self love and care. I meditated and recharged myself; reflecting on myself in every way was healing to my soul. During the hurricane I spent much needed time outside. One day while it rained I allowed myself to take a walk in the rain. As the rain rolled down my flesh it felt as though every drop was cleansing me. That day I gained clarity and started to goal set. I knew my perspectives were shifting however I didn’t know in what way.

I quit. The shift was to take another leap of faith on self. To resign and dedicate myself to the path that is carved out specifically for me. Scary? Yes. Nerve wrecking? Of course. However, it is so worth it. There comes a time in our lives where we will be tested. We often times confess to the Most High that we want our universe to shift. We speak things into the universe that we wish to manifest in our lives. We do this without expecting to take action ourselves. When we ask of anything within the universe it is expected of us to do the work that is required. This is how we grow; it is necessary to take leaps of faith on ourselves. Trusting our intuition is trusting our higher self our soul that guides us which is directed by the Most High.

Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose 

New Life Old Soul

Are You An Old Soul?!

Do You Feel Like An Old Soul?!

When looking up the term old soul it is rare that we come across a concrete definition of what that term really means. We often hear the term at a very young age when we are called an old soul. Elders say it with sense of pride as though they are giving you a bage of honor. Referring to our effortless ability to hold good conversation and listen attentively as they tell stories passing on wisdom. As we look up the meaning of an old soul list come up that describe what is to be one.  The description consist of; you are very wise and spiritually in tune. Often times introverted and withdrawn from the materialistic way of living. Urban Dictionary also gave a brief definition of an old soul.

A spiritual person whom is wise beyond their years; people of strong emotional stability.Basically, someone whom has more understanding of the world around them. Some people even believe an old soul is a person whom has learned from past incarnations, or lives.

We are told time and time again that we are “Wise beyond our years”. Others may go out of their way to tell us it is almost as though we have been here on this earth before. However, we never truly knew the extent of what that meant until we were old enough to be fully aware of our actions. To be an old soul is to be unapologetic in your authentic self. We put thought into everything we do to insure we are remaining true to our self.  As we grow older we can probably think back to the many times being wise got us in trouble. For example constantly asking “why”. In being an old soul; as a child we never went about the conventional way of doing things if we didn’t understand. “Because I said so” wasn’t enough to convince us of anything. Even though we would get in trouble for asking too many questions we often got our answers one way or another.

We always knew from an early age there was more to life. The status quo often bores us due to the fact that we may feel trapped in a box. When we find ourselves confined to the beliefs of others we feel compelled to break free.We are fully aware of our divine right to be authentic in every way.  There is something deep within us telling us we have the ability to create the life we have always wanted. Fulfilling our purpose is always in the forefront of our mind.When in a box we are aware we are forced to repress our souls cravings and our hearts desire. Aware we are placed in a rat race to create competition or conformity; we consciously seek deep meaningful connections. Because of this some of us may be drawn to a none materialistic way of living. Our hearts may desire the freedom to travel the country or even the world to experience other cultures and their way of living. We acknowledge there are many perspectives within this world and we are driven to explore those views. Everything within the universe is full of life. Everything that has life has a purpose to serve. In being old souls; wise beyond our years we often feel the need to assist the universe in healing to rise back to it’s full potential. Feeling compelled to assist the universe in healing and raising the conscious level; we realize this is more than a feeling it is a purpose. The gift of purpose comes with the perspective to see that everything is connected. Everything is connected by energy because everything is energy. Energy has a divine order which can not be destroyed.

Being an old soul may consist of holding space for others as an listening ear. Often times called an empath; we relate to others and their experiences because we are very sensitive to energy. If we can not relate we are able to feel their emotions on a soul level. Because of this people are drawn to us and often times feel comfortable enough to vent about  anything. Old souls, empaths, indigo children, etc are all titles and labels that have pretty similar meanings.  The titles often refer to those that have a higher energy frequency. With those frequencies comes a sensitivity to others energy and emotions. Your energy level allows you to have a aura or energy that transforms negative or stagnate energy into something positive. However, everybody has a different experience; although we may experience similar moments. It is hard to compare each persons spiritual journey. Many of us may feel older than what are from time to time; causing us to feel the need to rush through life. We all have a purpose to feel and rushing the process causes us to forget the purpose and 9 x’s out of 10 miss the purpose. Being spiritually inclined we often feel as though we can not relate to others. We are often introverted until we warm up and get to know people. Often labeled a loner however it is normally not the case. We enjoy meaningful conversations and/or being out exploring what our surrounds has to offer. We are happy with our own company doing things that intrigue us. When we do hold space for others it is for meaningful, memorable, and adventurous fun. Old souls may be seen as the “odd ball” in many cases. Although we can adjust to just about any setting as long as at the core we do not feel out of place deep within or the need to compromising who we are.

The truth of the matter is everyone including old souls are unique in many ways. To compromise who we are to fit in is not the name of the game for many old souls or etc. Becoming a better version of self is what drives an old soul and enjoying the many gifts of life. Because it feels we have a second chance in many instances self growth is at the top of our list. Knowing there is more to life than meets the eye; stagnant is a direct reflection of what we do not wish to become. Because of this we often need to rest and reflect. Something I needed much time to do.

Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose 

Why Meditation?!

When we take a look at social media, the magazines, and our TV’s  we see that zen is in.  Everyone is talking about yoga and meditation as if it were a new fashion trend. To some it is just another fad while to others it is a way of life. Nonetheless, people are looking for alternative ways to fight off the stress of day to day life and more; and meditation is in fact one of them. But why? Why is zen in? I started meditating as an extension of my yoga practice. I chose meditation as a way to calm my anxiety and anger. I realized how much smoother my days went by in college as I deepened my practice. I was able to set intentions for the day and in that I become more focused. I noticed I was more involved in my school work and how my grades improved along the way. Aside from me retaining information better inside the classroom and outside; I am more in tune with my emotions. I noticed how I responded to situations as well as why my emotions change through out the day. Creating that mindfulness assisted with being less reactive; forcing me to express how I felt and why. Allowing room to pick and choose my battles. In meditation I realized I am able to take ownership of my mind, body, and soul. Yoga and meditation is what I thank for my knee healing as rapidly as it did also. Yoga and meditation has become the cure for any ailments that I may have that doesn’t require medical attention.

Meditation by definition is vague do to the fact that there are many different approaches to meditation leaving room for many interpretation. However, meditation is holding space for yourself. As we hold space for ourselves we  begin to create more space by clearing space. Meditation is simply focusing on our breathe.  As we focus on our breathe we allow our thoughts to come and go with each breathe. In doing this we create awareness of the mind without interacting with our thoughts directly. Connecting the mind with the breathe allows us to connect with our body’s as well as bring everything in sync on a soul level. In this awareness meditation becomes a lifestyle due us becoming more mindful of our actions and reactions. When talking about meditation many assume to meditate you have to be seated only. Meditation can be in movement as well; yoga is meditation synced with movement. There are yoga practices that challenge us to place a movement with each breathe we take. Meditation can also be dancing. When we sent an intention to use these practices as meditation it is done.

*Well how do you I begin meditation?*

I am glade you asked. You begin mediating by creating space for yourself. What does that mean? It means carving out time for yourself; which is the hardest part. Once we have carved out time for ourselves we can meditate anyway we want. You can meditate laying down, in cobblers pose ( sitting Indian Style), in the shower, or even in a chair. There is no right or wrong way to meditate; as long the focus is on breathe. Many may choose to use crystals, incense, and/or essential oils to add on to their meditation practice as well. When meditating it is all about what resonates with you. In finding what resonates with you, you being to experience the many benefits of meditating.  Let’s look at some benefits of meditation:


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Can You Blame Them?!

We all desire to be understood in one capacity or another; if not understood we have a right to be respected. Often times we feel as though being understood is a sign of respect. However, we can agree to disagree. Meaning, we may not understand where one another is coming from but we respect each other for standing for something. Well what happens when we encounter individuals who do not want to understand us and do not respect our perspective at all? Do we get angry? Engage in throwing low blows? Why should we do anything of that nature? When sharing information with others that may go against their experiences it is without a doubt a sensitive conversation. It doesn’t have to be; yet it is because we are passionate beings by nature. But, we can not be angry with those who do not understand and  may not want to .

There comes a time when we have to take ownership and pride in our path. And often times that means turning off the noise of others. When people share their opinion it may be out of doubt, fear, their experience, or feelings. Turning off the noise entails not carrying it with us and having tunnel vision. This may lead to a lonely road for quite sometime; we may feel as though no one understands us. We may even question ourselves as to why we are on this journey. Having a moment of confusion is okay; digging deeper is always needed in these moments. When we find we are closer to the life we knew always existed it can also be scary. Living a life that makes us happy can be scary. We begin to doubt ourselves knit picking at certain things; maybe even questioning is it real, is it possible, and “what if’s” begin to form. We remember things people have done and said to us; comparing ourselves to others. Often times we can be our biggest critics and enemies all by overthinking. In moments of change and isolation compassion for self is a major key. It is a major key because we are unlearning and relearning. Some of us are entering into the dark night of the soul, others are in that moment, or some of us may be at the end of the tunnel. When evolving having self compassion for self while others may not understand you is the healing component. No, it is not easy. It isn’t suppose to be easy but it is worth it. We allow ourselves to have a clean slate and take on our fears and challenges head on. Finding your voice and purpose is the gift; the light at the end of the tunnel. In that you find you need zero validation from anyone.

Someone who needs zero validation from others is often seen as a threat. * What!!* Yikes. The reason being is due to the fact that the social structure may be at risk. That person is seen as a rebel.  One rebel may inspire or encourage another person to be themselves as well; perhaps causing them to question why they haven’t been true to who they are all along. Before you know it dynamics have changed and others have shifted their perspective as well. Many of us are afraid of the light because it shines the brightest on the truth. However, when we find our light we begin to love ourselves. Own our truth allows us to take pride and joy in all the things that we love. And in those darkest moments of our life we can find a way to make it through things that aren’t as enjoyable. We remember we are the light we have allows been seeking because it is within us; that is when we begin to free ourselves. Those who may not understand us may not want to or they simply can not process it. Often times those two mindsets go hand in hand. Can you blame them?! In being angry with those who do not understand us we discredit our own journey.  We have all been in the same exact place before we embarked on our journey back to self.  This makes us all hypocrites to some extent due to the fact that we have changed. What set us aside from a hypocrite is admitting that we have all been there before without judging others. We have all come from “nothingness” we just woke up. In this we are free to speak our truth and love others from a distance if need be. Learning from our journey gives the gift of compassion. So, can we blame them? Yes and No.

Yes, we can blame them due to the fact that there are too  many sources of knowledge to be completely in the dark. However, many people are not completely in the dark. As humans we choose what we want to receive as knowledge dismissing what we can not completely wrap our minds around. This is because of our upbringings, belief systems, and society. With that being said; no we can not blame them. Although we know we should not dismiss nothing but rather question everything.  Many have not fully grasp that concept. Being able to question things requires uncomfortable conversations. In those conversations we have to be open, willing, and able to pull back layers of ourselves and question why we think the way we do. This process can be uncomfortable and scary. It comes with the reality that we have to let go of things and people that often times we are not ready and willing to give up. Can we blame them? Sure, with compassion. * What does that even mean?!!* Agree to disagree and continue to do you. Over time we see who our true friends are. Those who accept you for you and keep a respectful relationship. Compassion eliminates judgement and leaves us light. Eventually your opinion and/or perspective will be wanted. Those are the moments when we speak truth to power.


Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose 

Cure Of Conformity

I grew up hearing the rich old saying, “Do as I say not as I do”; not to mention if I asked why I would hear, “BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!“. I am sure I’m not the only one. Often times when these things were said the adults saying them were doing the exact opposite. On the other hand, some of those following these rules interestingly enough do not know why these standards were put in place or who put them here. Yet, they follow the rules set in place because it was something passed on to them and “that’s just the way it is”. In our community it is as though we conform to just about anything; whether it makes sense or not. Some may see it as not being that serious while others make jokes about it either as venting, passing time, getting attention, likes, or whatever may have you. However, we enforce things that may be tearing down our community little by little destroying the structure and dignity that we have left; without even realizing it.

* What is conforming? What exactly are we talking about?*

Conform: comply with rules, standards, or laws.

  • Behave according to socially acceptable conventions or standards.

It can be uncomfortable being the odd one out. It makes others uncomfortable as well. Often times when we make others uncomfortable it is voiced in an unpleasant manner. Sly remarks may be made followed by sarcastic questions; with little desire to want to know the truth.  There may even be a moment where we are sent on a guilt trip with all the reasons why we shouldn’t be so different. Often times we begin to conform because we “don’t want to hear anybody’s month.” We are conforming to make others comfortable again. Why is that? We may feel out of place when we are simply trying to be ourselves around other people. That is okay. The environment may not be one you prefer or the vibe is off. Perhaps we actually are out of place; maybe we aren’t meant to be around certain people. The moment we give in and conform we are suppressing a huge part of ourselves to satisfy others. How do you feel when you conform for other people? When we disown a part of who we are our personalities and attitudes towards life begin to feel forced. Almost as though we are trying to convince ourselves this false since of self is who we really are. While everyone around you loves this version of you. How do you really feel? Do we even like the person we have altered ourselves into being? Often times we are fooled into becoming someone we truly do not like. There is always a promise of more friends, business opportunities, or a better way of living. However, have we ever stopped to ask who created this standard of living and being? Many times we are forced to choose between being what others want us to be and who we truly are. Often at the expense of losing friends and “luxurious” life. And it all boils down to what makes you happy.

We are all under this impression that to have friends and make it in life we have to fit in the same box as others. However, that isn’t the case. Standing out is a good thing. Being unique is what makes us special. Each of us is created different to perform many different tasks. We are the same yet different in a variety of ways. Conforming taints the soul and suppresses who we are within; causing us to forget who we are. Creating this false sense of self to satisfy others detaches us from self; in turn forcing a part of us to die. We slowly become dependent on others to validate us. Once we need validation from other people begin to feel entitled to our space, time, energy, and personal life. We lose time to ourselves caused by others wanting a piece of us by the second. Moments to our self are filled with things we really may not be up to doing. We forget that it is okay to do somethings alone because most activities are done in a group. Having a different perspective on things may be seen as taboo or taken personal; due to others telling you how you should feel about things. Agreeing to disagree may not be a option because opposing opinions may not be heard or respected. Group thinking becomes the name of the game. We have all been told at some point the great things that come from belonging to some type of group. Often times it is suggested that we should be a part of something to: enhance our chances of being a better person, keep us motivated, create an identity, and add to our sense of self. In a sense, it is almost as though being a part of group adds value and meaning to our lives. While all of this may be true to some degree; there is always a chance of conforming to a way of life that we may end up resenting down the road.  Everyone longs to feel as though they are not the black sheep or odd man out; to have a sense of belonging.  And sometimes these feelings place us in a world of trouble in some way, shape, or fashion. We may find ourselves a part of a team, organization, group, or crew for many reasons. Is this wrong? Of course not; If we have knowledge of self-beforehand. Without knowledge of self we lack an identity; our own identity. This causes us to lack self-expression; from thinking and speaking for ourselves to lack of creativity.  We allow ourselves to become molded into what others want us to be due to the fact that we do not know who we are. Often times when we take on the persona that was given to us we begin to feel important. We then have an “image” to uphold. When we hold on to the image that was given to us we willingly throw away our intuition at the cost of being accepted. It is often easier to suppress who we are rather than to hear others talk about you.

When making an attempt to be authentic people applaud us for being brave without know how hard it truly is. Many times it means being the butt of people’s jokes, being excluded from things, or even being sent on a guilt trip.  However, knowing that others will always have something to say about you no matter what you do or say is grounds enough to be apologetically you. No one can fault you for being who you are at all times. There was a quote I ran across many months ago that keeps me grounded in my truth.

“When a person is seen freely living their truth it reminds others of their chains”

Forgetting who we are and conforming to things we truly do not understand or agree with sucks us into a world that isn’t for us. It is important to be stingy with our time, space, and energy to protect and in many cases save ourselves. Aside from physically being involved in social groups that enforce stereotypes; the very thing directing and redirecting societal norms is social media. Many if not all of us walk around with our heads down as we indulge in our many phone apps. I often call social media a blessing and a curse do to the fact that if we are not careful a single notification can rule our lives. Every now and again it is important for us to unplug ourselves from the world and tune into ourselves. If we charged our bodies mentally, physically, and spiritually as much as we charged our devices imagine how different the world would be. Social media directs the wave of what’s hot and not. We find ourselves living for the media; putting up an image for likes that we may not necessarily like. Or on the other hand going the extra mile to be something we really aren’t comfortable with. Many times we put so much of ourselves out there that we have nothing left to save for ourselves. This may be done because we feel we have to show it to prove “it”.

In all things, if something feels forced leave it. Many times there are levels in life that lead up to us conforming in some way. This happens because without realizing it we ask for things to manifest in our lives.  A little preventive care could be weighing our options to find a better way of doing things. Even if it takes a day or less to do so take that time. Another mindful practice to carry with us is asking “What resignations with me?” In this we find what makes us happy, puts us at peace, and sets our soul on fire. Seeking guidance in our everyday life leads to those moments in life where we do not have to question our next decision or if we “fit in” because; it all will feel natural.  When we stop forcing situations we will begin to flow into our destiny.


Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose 


When Emotions Run Rampant (Checks and Balances)

Normally we see or hear the term ‘”Checks and Balance” we automatically think of our government and how the system is regulated. Checks and Balances are used to ensure that no one branch of our government has too much power. To ensure this each branch has to answer or is constrained by the other two in some way. The best example of this is our president because he/she can not make laws. He/she can pass or veto laws passed by congress. However, congress can override a veto with two-thirds vote of both houses. Also the supreme court can declare a law passed by congress unconstitutional. This system was created to ensure our government does not run rampant with crazy bills and laws to over use their power.    

* Where exactly has this gotten us in today’s society * 

What if we had a checks and balances on our emotions? Many of us (if not all) are at war with our egos. We find ourselves trying to balance between good and bad, pettiness and letting things go, following our dreams and remaining stagnate, etc. Perhaps, something is holding us back. What are you emotionally invested in? Everything we give our all to may not be worth it. We often have to be selfish with our time, energy, and space. When we start to realize certain things no longer benefit us it is okay to let it go. The question we can ask ourselves more often is, “Is it Hurting or Helping me”. When we take a step back to reflect on those things our honest answer will indicate what we truly need to do. If something cost us our peace it is too expensive. When we find ourselves in situations we can not control yet we some how end up more affected than others; our peace is at stake. This is when we should do a little checks and balancing. In creating a checks and balance we may find the very thing we were emotionally invested in is of zero importance. Some of us may dismiss the very important term,  “Where your mind goes you go.”  Thinking negatively all the time can manifest itself into our daily lives. The more we think about a situation; creating more situations in our minds that may never happen out of anger may cause us to create a bigger issue. Often times we forget we create our bad experiences with our mentality alone. Another great way we can create a checks and balance for ourselves is by simply noticing the energy you carry with you. Direct your attention periodically to your emotions and how you feel when you are completely happy in comparison to when someone or something has made you upset. When negative thoughts try to infiltrate our minds it is our job to counter balance them with a positive affirmation.Checking our emotions daily helps us to not only be accountable for feelings as well as our actions. It also allows us to compare situations and evaluate why we maybe feeling the way we are.

A practice I try to remain on top of is welcoming in all the thoughts that may fill my head. Good or bad; once something negative comes to the surface I think of the good that happened around that time. If nothing good took place I reflect on the good that came from that situation. The moment our thinking process shifts to positive reinforcement we receive positive affirmations.

*However, I am fully aware certain situations require a second party to be checked as well. *  When it comes to energy we can carry other peoples energy throughout the day, week, month, and even years depending on our connection to that person. We can transfer our energy onto others with something as simple as a comment or look. As crazy as it may sound it does not have to be as complex. When someone rubs us the wrong way they have just given us their negative energy. Once someone insults us we immediately are upset with them and offended; subconsciously we begin to examine ourselves in a negative light. The very minute we take something someone says personal we become vulnerable to that persons energy.  When we are insulted it is a choice. We do not have to take what someone says to heart; once we do so we willing taking their negative energy. We have no choice in the matter of when someone will try reflect their negative energy, misfortunes and ways of thinking on us. However, we do have a choice whether to acknowledge, process, and receive it or not to. The only thoughts we should acknowledge are our own.  When we choose to knowledge those who have insulted us it is important to ask ourselves, ” Does this deserve a remark?”  or “Is this worth my time and energy?” The best reaction is no reaction; the best response is no response. There is power and silence and stillness. Another thing we often dismiss is Universal Law. For every action this is a reaction; a chain of events will occur within the universe off of our one small misjudgment.  Overstanding that we do not always have to read someone their rights and be their instant karma because knowing the universe will work that out is a divine gift in itself. Our egos may tell us to handle it now; do not let them get away with what they have said or done to us.  However, we shouldn’t always give others the satisfaction. Is it really worth the extra baggage that may come after?

When talking about ego we are referring to what we are consciously thinking about at all times. Our ego is our sense of self, self important, and self esteem. We normally see people refer to our egos as our lower self. In hindsight that may be true; however there is only 1 whole self we merely vibrate at different frequencies. When we see or hear someone say, “your lower self or higher self” they are referring to your level of frequency you may be giving off in that moment. Our egos often times puts us in a situation that may cause us to have a low frequency moment. * Think of it as stooping to someones level* We often find ourselves in a tug of war when it comes to our emotions. Not knowing how to address something, someone, not knowing how to feel about things, and how to let go. These are battles we deal with internally between ego and soul. Often times we have to do a little ego check.  Our negative thoughts are our egos bringing up things past and present that we may have thought we were over. Putting scenarios in place and playing out how we “should” handle them. Checks and balances come in to play when we try to make the conscious effort to tame our egos and vibrate on a soul level. We begin to evaluate why we are hung up on particular things. Many times those situations may not be relevant to where we are currently. Operating on a soul level will not put our ego to death. However, it will allow us to put to death things that consumed us in a negative manner; things we obsessed over and couldn’t like without. We wouldn’t be focused on how we appeared in the eyes of others. We would have a healthy balance, knowing what truly matters to us;  how to pick and choose our battles. Also giving ourselves space and time to find out who we are. We can not put our egos to death but we can allow our souls to guide our egos. Taming the ego and feeding the soul  is a recipe for vibrating at our highest frequency daily.

Balancing the ego with the soul is acknowledging and balancing the good and the bad about ourselves. We are taking a look into who we are and deciding what is worth holding onto about ourselves and what we need to do away with. This may vary from people to habits depending on what is connected. Taming our ego is shedding light on those dark spaces within that can be used for good instead of blocking blessings. Our ego can be that thing that pushes us to be a better person when we get a handle on who we truly are. Every now and then we all need our ego stroked; by feeding our soul with positive affirmations we can live a life that puts us at peace. Once we are at peace our ego will be stroked and at rest; once aligned we will be fulfilled. Allowing our egos to drive us mad does a disservice to ourselves. Let’s do ourselves a favor and let go of our egos and become guided by your soul and allow ego to back seat ride.

Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose  

Who’s Who Doesn’t Define You!!!!!!!

Why has it become a taboo for people; black people in particular to support one another? This is a question I have seen floating around social media for quit some time in regards to Black Owned Businesses. However, I would like to take the question a step further. Why are we not supportive of one anothers  life endeavors period? Without turning it into a competition where everyone has to be compared. Whether it be private life, relationships, goals, etc. When someone makes an effort to do what makes them happy criticism/judgement will follow. However, it shouldn’t be from those who are considered “family”. When a person decides to follow their dreams and take an authentic path; accusing them of trying to be like someone else and down playing what they are trying to accomplish can be discouraging. Especially when it was meant to be a form of criticism to put them down. One may argue and say, ” Well if it’s something I do not agree with I’m going to let them know.” or ” Not everything deserves to be supported.” Touche!

Envy a word that doesn’t get used a lot.  Perhaps because we think, ” Who would want to be envious of me?” or ” Why would I be envious of them?”  And I agree with you; WHY?! It’s ridiculous right? In actuality we would be surprised if we knew how many people talked about us in a envious way. Many people will never admit that they are envious of someone. Today gossiping about others, sharing things people trusted you with, and making assumptions has become second nature within our community. Envy can have many faces from being shady to insecure. It can entail longing for something one may have while distancing yourself from that person do to feeling out of place. Even criticizing what you do yet wanting that very thing.  One could also be good friend while attempting to “steal their thunder”. Oftentimes you will never know that someone is envious of you until things hit the fan. Also, being envious often time has nothing to do with a person possessions, status, or looks. Some people long for a support system and/or attention. We all have come across people who either have nothing positive to say or they’re playing a game of keeping up with the Jones’s. It is as though they always find something to pick at, criticize, maybe even belittle or down play your efforts.  Meanwhile trying to “catch up”; doing what some may consider the most to receive attention or praises. Perhaps we find that we are the one of those people.

Before going to far let’s look at the definition of Envy:

a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or luck.

desire to have a quality, possession, or other desirable attribute belonging to (someone else).
Turning ENVY into an acronym makes the word even juicier.



       When we are envious of someone we often times only see things from one perspective. We rarely see the hardships others go through. Envy is only based on what we see; which is why I created the acronym you see above. Viewing other live from one perspective means we don’t have the proper knowledge makes us naive in our assumptions. We truly do not know that persons reality until we take a walk in their shoes from past to present to obtain a clear understanding. The way envy looks varies depending on who each person is as well as what that person is longing for. We have all seen movies about people who we’re envious of another person. These movies may give us an idea of how some people do some pretty crazy things to get what they were yearning for or to make the other person lose all that they have. When we feel envy towards someone it is a good idea to take a look inward and ask ourselves,“What are you longing for?” Is is money that we want ultimately? Love, attention, to have an influence on peoples lives? Or to have power? Are we willing to compromise who we truly are to be like this person? Most importantly is this person a positive influence in my life? Are they of importance? We all can admit to meeting someone who seems to have it all together and admiring them. But, how do we know when that has turned to envy? When  has it gone too far? Often times we subconsciously have thoughts about a person that tear down our own self-esteem. We hold those people to a higher standard than ourselves. In doing this we may be trying to channel that persons energy; your actions become driven by  the thought of “being more like them”or better. The feeling of insecurity or inferiority fuels your fire; rather than what motivates you or makes you happy. That person whom you once admired has become your enemy, competition, and PROBLEM.* Keeping in mind competition and inspiration are two different things*
     Today it seems taboo to admire someone and have a role model due to everyone being in competition. Having someone to look to for inspiration and motivation is healthy. We frequently need motivation outside of ourselves and daily lives to pull from. However, that person should not be your only go to. Admiring someone can easily become an obsession. This may cause you to loose yourself in the blink of an eye. Our wants at times can be superficial maybe even one sided at times. We have all fallen victim of getting caught up in what we see on social media and our favorite reality shows. Subconsciously  we may find ourselves emulating what we see; some aspiring to be one of those stars. Other times we may be mimicking what we see on purpose for attention; forgetting that we are only seeing what we are allowed to see. We may have that one friend who seems to have it all. It’s almost as though she lives the life we see on social media or TV. However, we may never truly know the sacrifices that person has made or the hardships they may be facing.
There was a point in my life were I based my life on all materialistic wants. I wanted the flashy lavish lifestyle with the clothes and man to match. It got to the point where I would find myself saying, ” I have an image to uphold.” As if I had to impress everyone I encountered. Everything felt so forced; it got to a point where I asked myself what am I trying to prove. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having nice things and looking nice. It is the intent behind it; is it for you or to keep up. I found myself stuck somewhere  in the middle. I love looking nice however at times I would feel uncomfortable; I didn’t feel like myself.  
     Let’s keep in mind this way of thinking doesn’t come over night as we sit in our dorm rooms planning outfits for the party tonight. This starts from childhood; take a look at the kids today. Everyone is watching reality TV including the youth. It is as though we are trying to live up to the standards of people we do not know. What we consume daily we do become in every way, shape, or form. As we continue to watch these shows we find ourselves wanting a piece of that that life in some way.  Maybe, we want to dress like them or have a similar life style. Think about the kids watching this and how their childhood shifts dramatically. In addition to reality TV, they attend schools where everyone wants to be the “it” person. It is as though everyone is trying to emulate who they watched the night before. Middle and high school students are being encouraged to envy one another and be in constant competition. Adults and children alike are belittling one another passing judgement as we try to all live similar superficial lives we see on TV. Everyone is accused of being a hater, copy cat, etc; as we all fall into the same trap. Granted each life style and circle is different; however it  doesn’t excuse the fact that we do not get to see what truly goes on behind the scenes.  As we move further into adulthood many people want to be known or famous for something. This leads to the question what do you want to be known for? Often times this causes the feeling of envy to creep in due to  people feeling as though they are in a competition to be the “next big thing” on scene.
    Often times we confuse envy and jealousy thinking they mean the same thing. However, they are opposites that can go  hand in hand depending on the situation. Envy is indeed wanting something another person has. Jealousy is being protective of something another person may be trying to take. This feeling is brought on when we feel threatened by someone. Yes you can be both; one feeling may bring on the other.
We may be envious of a persons personality or aura and feel they may be trying to take your friend. Your friendship in your eyes is now threatened which makes you are jealous.

Some may even argue that jealously steams from envy. Envy has no age restrictions and it is not gender specific. Anyone whether an elder or peer, boss or parent, sister or boyfriend can be envious. One can even be envious of a hobby you may have. We are emotional beings and many things can pull out vast array of emotions. We forget who we are the minute we feel we are in a competition. Who another person is may not align with who we are deep within. We find ourselves in a rat race to out do someone we may or may not know; neglecting the signs that we are in contradiction with our hearts desires. No one tells us, “just because we see someone excelling in life in one way doesn’t mean that is our purpose in life as well.” We do not have to be like someone else to be great. Yes, many people have similar passions. However, how can you turn that into something that embodies everything that you stand for? Adding our own flavor to something we love is what sets us apart. Envy is what I would call “eye begging”. We see something and then we have to have it. It helps to practice asking ourselves, “Is it for us?” Envy clouds our vision causing us to walk outside of our purpose. Follow your souls cravings; do what makes you happy putting your soul at peace. Once we defy our soul we inflict pain on ourselves. Living in chaos and confusion could be the karma we bring on ourselves walking outside of our purpose. Living the life of someone else could land us in dead in jobs that bring us little to no happiness.  And having superficial wants may bring superficial relationships as well. When we find ourselves playing catch up with another person out of envy  are we as happy as that person? What is meant for someone else may not be meant for you.

 Another person success doesn’t define our success. We are live different lives; timing is different for each of use. Success and love look different for each of us. As humans we will always feel some type of way. Remembering what is meant for us will be no matter what will bring us back each time.
Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose 

Free Yourself

How I Let Go? 

Truth is I am still letting go. This is a 24/7 – 365 process that comes with many lessons to learn. For starters I separated myself to allow me the time to evaluate what no longer served me. I became okay with being alone with my thoughts in pure silence. Meditating daily allowed the most high to talk to me clearly. I expressed my emotions freely through writing and verbally to cleanse myself of what I was holding on to. I let those things be once expressed and become grateful for the small victories. I  started asking myself, What is bothering me? What am I holding on to?  and Why? Can I change them? and How? I gave attention to  my strengths as well as  my weaknesses. Giving myself the time to master my strengths and  show care to my weaknesses. In this I began to face my fears; pushing myself to face challenges that I would normally over react to or avoid all together. I allowed myself to cry, to be free, and to do the unthinkable. In doing all of these things I was freeing myself.    

Holding on causes more pain than the act letting go it self. We are allowing ourselves to relive those past encounters without realizing it.The more you hold on to things the more pain your are allowing to creep in; allowing that negative energy to stick with us. In doing this we give other people our power and energy.  In return we lose our peace of mind as well as our health. All energy is connected to our bodily functions; hence why people say you will worry yourself to death. This is a true statement that is taken very lightly. Holding grudges will take a toll on you mentally, physically, and spiritually if we are not  mindful. As we hold grudges we begin to live out those emotions attracting what we believe. The minute we make the conscious decision to hold on to the past in anyway is the minute we lose ourselves. We slowly lose touch with who we truly are as we give our energy to something other than ourselves. In return we slowly become the very thing we despise.

Life is about taking the good with the bad.  At times things may seem as though they won’t let up yet something good always comes in the end. If we do not learn to let go we will find ourselves hold on to a lifetime supply of baggage as well as ailments that may effect us for the rest of our lives. When looking at the causes of not letting go of things at the base is fear. Considering that we only have 2 emotions at the core ” Love” and Fear”; all other emotions steam from one or the other. Fear of getting hurt again will effect our daily interactions crippling us as we begin to usefear as a crutch. We create situations of “what if” as the excuse for why we can’t do things. This is unconsciously allowing fear to control our lives. When holding on to anger we may experience lack of sleep as well as anxiety.  When we lose sleep our judgement can become clouded; the act of holding on to things makes that triple in effect. Limiting what we can and can not do, where we can and can not go, and perhaps creating phobias we never had. Our grudges begin to dictate our present and future. This may begin to take a toll on ones social life if we are not careful. We may being to treat others differently based on what someone else has done. We may hold something another person has done over everybody’s head. Allowing that negative energy to be transferred to others around you.  Other effects of holding on may be depression that is linked to loneliness and we run the risk of resenting others. The outcome is we hurt ourselves and possibly others as we try and protect ourselves.

Aside from the emotional damage we cause ourselves, there are physical ailments that can sneak up on us. When we are not in tune with our bodies we are unaware of how our bodies respond to stress. Our emotions have the potential of making us sick or keeping us healthy. If we find that we are often times upset or stressed we may find ourselves in the hospital for a major illness.  No matter the action or reaction it is a form of stress on the body causing it to break down. Each body part is connected to an emotions and/or stress sensor; when exhausted your body will send you a sign in the form of pain or ailment. Our immune system may break down as well when we are overwhelmed. Being cognizant of the way we react to negativity and what we focus our energy on may relieve some of the pain and subside any common colds or ailments we may have.

Here are some common ailments, pains and diseases and connections to be mindful of;

  • Elevated blood pressure
    • accumulation of emotional problems
    • stress
  • Stroke
    • not being allowed to deal with own emotions
  • Migranes
    • Fear or Stress
  • Back Pains
    • Lower Back
      • Inability to see a way out.
      • Strong feelings of guilt and self-hatred.
      • Difficulties in communicating.
    • Sacrum
      • Stubbornly holding on to old anger. Feelings of powerlessness and loss of power.
    • Tail Bone
      • Blaming oneself, holding on to that which no longer serves the self, being out of balance with oneself, “sitting on old pain.”

Honesty Hour:

Giving meditation a try guided me to the answers I may have been ignoring as well as those couldn’t find. No one else can help you find the solution to the problem but YOU. However, someone can guide you through the situations as a helping and healing hand. The truth hurts and no one likes inflicting pain on themselves; but I had to be honest with myself as I let things go. Everyone hates letting go of things that they are emotional attachmented to even if it causes pain. There was a period of my life where I was ANGRY and my body suffered do to my emotional reactions. I had to realize I was forcing myself to live in the past. In doing this I found myself back tracking to old habits and relationships that caused me emotional and internal damage * heart pains and chest discoloration*;  I even found my immune system weakening. Life is what we make it; I realizing lessons come around often to insure we have learned our lesson. Often times we need to test our growth spiritually and mentally because our reactions shape what the future holds for us. Being real with yourself involves showing yourself compassion above all because everyone makes mistakes. Yet, we must hold ourselves accountable allowing ourselves to make the necessary changes to grow. When we accept change we are able to experience all that life has to offer. This involved detaching myself from somethings to make space for what was to come. I had to set boundaries for myself to remember to put ME first. Having that alone time to recharge and think clearly; evaluating things I have done and the goals I have accomplished . In doing this I am able to merge the past, present, and future. Learning from my past insures I do not make the same mistakes. Keeping relationships with people who are growing and evolving yet setting boundaries for myself to keep myself grounded at all times and maintaining my focus. Staying in the present moment and appreciating all that takes place. Watching for the lessons that can be learned, being cognizant of signs that I have grown, and remembering to do all things in love. I try to be mindful of where I go to ensure it is an environment with the right vibes. If we view all things in a negative light; that will show in our daily activities and functions. I am in no way saying life will be all rainbows. But, we can all create our own rainbows and sunshine.


Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose 

Easing The Grievance

2016 has been ruthless for many of us. It has been a year of transition, hardship, and DEATH. While observing and talking to others this year I noticed this has been a pretty significant cycle for many . The universe has a funny way of preparing you for things if you pay close attention. Death has reached it’s peek in this life cycle; leaving me to bury 4 family members. My season of death began at the beginning of summer when I buried my uncle and concluded with me burying my cousin. In August I lost a precious jewel within my family; my grandmother Rose Mary.  With my grandmother being my final grandparent  laid to rest I noticed there was deeper meaning to this season I was in .  Knowing I was never one to grieve easy I allowed myself space and time to gather my thoughts; in doing this I gained the clarity and peace I needed. This season of death was not just about laying loved ones to rest there was a bigger picture; lessons were meant to be learned. It took me a while to realize the time had come for me to shed layers of myself that I no longer needed that were holding me back. People, lifestyles, habits, and our way of thinking are all things we have to  reevaluate from time to time

    Burying my uncle was the beginning  of my season of death. I made a vow to myself early on to not wear my feelings on my shoulders but rather  take time to deal internally. This was my time to put that into practice. After burying my uncle I noticed my life began to  take a downward spiral slowly. Things began falling apart at the seams; communication was the key for coping through this summer. The most high was truly sending me through things I always said I could never deal with. Financially in bind, looking for a new place, working, dance rehearsals, and in summer school * commuting 200 miles each day*.  Adding an ill grandmother, a mother undergoing surgery, and adding deceased relatives to my equation was recipe for me to throw in the towel.  I often felt as though I cried more than I smiled.  Each time I cried I was cleansing my soul; giving myself room to refocus my energy. I realized early  on that tears heal wounds. During this time I tried to be a little more open about my life events. In grieving I  realized it helps to be open; death is something everyone has to experience. In knowing this you tend to be more understanding. In being open I gave myself time to heal. With everything taking place I was tired, hurting, and tired of hurting. I made it a point to remain grounded; I always found time to detach from everything and everyone to clear my head. Setting small goals for myself gave me head space to not solely focus on the bad surrounding me.In clearing my space I realized that death is not the end. This year was truly a year of the big picture. It was as though each death came with a lesson; letting go was the title of this chapter in my life. I found my self learning to let go of people, things holding me back, my mentality, and grudges. All a test of my faith and growth.  I  found my self letting go of people that were only seasonal in my life. I was always afraid of losing friends; being left with a sense of regret as though it was all my fault. Even within long term relationships I would lose myself trying to keep that person. I had to learn that people come into your life to teach you a lesson. Not everyone is meant to come into your life and stay; being open to the aspect of freedom starts and ends with self. Being free involves allowing others to freely come and go, knowing when to let go, and detaching from situations that no longer serve you. This also meant freeing myself of old habits that would not benefit me as I grow; as well as detaching myself from individuals that were on a different wavelength as me. Often times we pick up bad habits from our peers without realizing it. That includes others  mentality, vernacular, and sometimes even goals.  This begins a form of grouping thinking were everyone has common goals along with the same game plan of how to obtain those things. When this happens we may be blocking blessings from entering our lives; whether it be opportunities, love, careers, etc. Letting go of bad habits is often times just as hard as letting go of people because we have to acknowledge the bad habits before we can break them. The misconception that those habits are in someway benefiting us is not the root but the catalyst to our bad habits.

      Letting go of things that were holding me back. The root to accomplishing this for me was getting my mentality in check. Being a worry wart I had the tendency to speak the worst into existence or overthinking myself into a situation I initially feared would take place. This process was by far the hardest to let go of; that fact of the matter is you can think yourself in and out of situations all day. I found myself learning to take things day by day. Concurring each day is the name of the game. Plan for the future while mastering each day; allowing each day you have gone through to be the stepping stone to a brighter future. While taking my life a day at a time I realized I could no longer give credit to others for the misfortunes or even the high points in my life. When things go sour in our lives we have a tendency to point the finger others. In reality the only person we can truly blame is ourselves. This began the transition of let go of letting others be the reason I couldn’t do something or the reason I chose to engage in other things. In doing this I found myself no longer seeking the approval of others. I began to take more pride in being who am, gaining the self confidence I was lacking, and seeking counsel only for major decisions. If we really want things to work out for our best interest and have all the things we dream of the power is with in us. We just have to stop looking for the approval of others and following the vision of another person; only to then put the blame on them when things do not go as we envisioned. Following our own vision is the best thing we could ever do. What If It All Works Out?! Pushing my fears aside allowed me to be open to many opportunities. The harmful thing about wondering what if is there is always a negative following behind. It is almost as though we are speaking our fears into manifestation. Letting your fears go leaves zero room for you to revisit the past. We often have things from our past that haunt us which shapes our way of thinking. Those harmful things from our past manifest themselves in the present as our fears; which hold us back. Letting go of the past for me also meant Letting Go Of Holding Grudges. Having a grudge does us more damage than we could ever imagine. Fear is a tricky thing to let go of because it can manifest it self in so many forms. Holding a grudge is nothing more than fear having a strong hold on your entire life. We hold grudges to protect us from getting hurt yet we are hurting ourselves.

Imagine holding on to something for dear life due to fear of falling, something breaking, etc. After a while holding on to it seems to be the cause of your hand hurting because you’re holding on too tight. When we hold a grudge we prevent ourselves from moving forward in any direction due to the situation replaying in our minds. We shut people out, we are mean on our jobs, overly sensitive, over reactive, judgmental, and the list could go on. This is because holding a grudge is holding on to all of the negative emotions that person brought on.

      I can’t move on, I’m hurt, It’s easier said than done!! Often times we can’t move forward because we don’t want to; not because we can’t. Understand that you didn’t expect a person you care for to cross you in a wrong manner; honor that mentality and do not do it to another person. Break the cycle and focus on good karma.  Overstand that you can not expect nothing from anybody but yourself; you can only monitor what you do. Having expectation leaves room for disappointments and pain your life stops for no one. Holding a grudge means you life is now in neutral due to the actions of another; the incident  will come back around. And Innerstand that you must be present and observant. We have an intuition as well as instincts that allow us to sense things before they happen. Get in tune with yourself and your surroundings things can be avoided. While holding something over one persons head have you ever noticed how it is held over everyone’s head? We being to project that negativity onto others which clouds our judgement. We often set expectations for people holding them to too high of a standard forgetting we all make mistakes. Setting expectations for ourselves and abiding by them is solely how we will attract what is meant for us. No one knows you better than you. The power of change lies within; holding on to things places that power in the hands of others. I could no longer be bound to the things that held me down. Feeling stuck is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy due the fact that it could really test your mental state. Grieving and stress were my triggers for depression and anxiety; I would sit in my room and cry listening to sad music until I fell asleep just to do it do it all over again.  I use to  panic, cry, and think myself into a hell hole. But this time in the  mist of  hurting I was healing. Remaining busy became a coping mechanism for me to check myself and not get caught up in the madness. I was doing things that I loved; dancing and helping people allowed me to balance my emotions . Seeing others happy and hearing their stories motivated me to keep going. Keeping my rituals was a must and during these hard times I saw how essential they were for my healing. My montras’ are what guided me through each day and settled me at night. I listened more and became observant of everything around me. I grew more present and connected. During times of high stress I tend to eat less and when I do eat it’s sweets; yet I found myself eating healthier balancing my meals and taking the initiative to workout. I tried my best to continue my morning rituals to get my day started and proceeded with my daily routines without checking out and calling it quiets.

       Coming to these different realizations was a true test of my faith and strength. I was more grounded than I had ever been; I found myself in deep prayer/meditation numerous times a day to block out the noise surrounding me. I know during times of turmoil, grief, and/or transition you go for what you know; going into survival mode. This makes it easy for us to go back to old habits that may lead us back to square one. I cried more than average in my alone time because I felt lost 90% of the time with no way out. I was angry, confused, and at my wits end. It was as though The Most High was breaking me down to get my attention. Asking my parents for help was the toughest nail to swallow. For the first time in a while they had seen me reach a breaking point. I WAS HURTING! To learn to grieve I had to learn to cope and allow my perspective to shift. The dynamics for getting over this hurdle were very different for me. This summer I went through stages with each death I encountered; I watched myself change mentally and spiritually. My way of thinking took a major turn which allowed me to have a better understanding of life. With this came a different reaction to situations I may encounter. I often would wear my feelings on my shoulders; forcing me to push people away or even gain sympathy without people truly knowing what was taking place in my life. Neither of the two I really wanted considering I truly dislike attention unless it’s truly earned. In my times of meditation I found that I was truly freeing myself from old ways of merely existing. Death was present in my life as a time for rebirth. It was time for me to heal internally and externally. This season of death was a call to transcend and truly live. My mind body and soul was cleansed to make way for growth. Letting go is a continual process however it gets easier along the way.

Cc: Kevin Bussey

Peace and Blessing,
My thoughts my views, Share with me, vibe with me
– Rose